Saturday, January 22, 2005


Margaret Atwood on her silly remote book-signing machine: "The only difference between the author-at-a-distance and the author-in-the-flesh would be that no author's DNA would get onto the book, and no reader's germs would get onto the author." Did Atwood ever consider that she, too, is leaving her germs on the unsuspecting reader's copy of her book?

From this elitist nonsense, we are supposed to believe her when she says that "[her] intentions are purely benevolent"? In other words, she has the best interest of her readers in mind , and does not stand to gain anything in the process, except more time at home. And the money that she will make from selling the machines to other authors. More like 'benevolence bounces off of you and comes right back over to me'.

Very amusing are the three separate references made to mini-bars and the contents therein; these lead me to believe that her aversion to overpriced snack food might be her main impetus for inventing the Unotchit.

1) "This will mean a lot less angst, inconvenience, starvation, sitting in airports and eating out of minibars."

2) "Think of the plane-trips avoided, the beer nuts left uneaten in the hotel minibar..."

3) "As I...was whizzing around the United States on yet another demented book tour, getting up at four in the morning to catch planes, doing two cities a day, eating the Pringle food object out of the mini-bar at night as I crawled around on the hotel room floor..."

And with this image in mind, I shall stop, leaving us all to wonder what would motivate Ms. Atwood to commune with all those hotel room floor germs...perhaps looking for the beer nut that got away?

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